Hey, guys! Just woke up from the food coma. Did I miss anything?
(mumble, mumble)
...wait. Hold up.
THAT guy was President?! Have I been in a real coma?
(grumble, mumble)
Oh. Really?
(grumble)
10 years?! The hell you been doing while I’ve been gone? And whose gray hair is this?
Oh. Mine. Got it. Is cartoon entertainment still awful?
(mumble, grumble, mumble)
Who is Steven Universe? What do you mean normal people watch anime? Does this mean I get to be normal now?
(mumble)
Huh. Still not even—
(grumble)
Fine. I get it. I said fine! I just get to be that guy.
(mumble)
What do you mean there’s been 13 Scooby Doo series?! I thought Scrappy—
(GRUMBLE!)
Uh-huh. Told you he was awful. Did you listen? Nope, you did not. That’s on you, America. So, now that I’m back on the #1 blog in The World—
(mumblemumblemumblegrumblemumble)
...the actual hell is social media? Do you just go into public with a camera and...what, do stuff? Like, annoy others?
(mumble)
You’re kidding.
(mumble)
And people get PAID for this?
(mmmmm)
MILLIONS?!!!
(grumble)
Okay, kids. You’ll have to give me a little bit to process the fact that the past ten years have been made out of insanity.
(mm)
The hell is a meme?!
(mumblegrumblegrumblemumble)
Folks, gimme a couple days to process this. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SIMPSONS ARE STILL ON TV? I need a moment. See you in a little bit.
